Burger Pilgrimage

Fireworks, bursting colors in the summer sky, bar-b-ques, massive feasts, a day spent outside wandering from party to party with an insatiable appetite and thirst- that's the 4th of July and I miss it. I've heard I can find a celebration in Seoul amongst the soldiers but the 4th falls on a Monday and partying with the army is a bit too patriotic for me. In my city, and in the rest of Korea, Canadians drastically outweigh the Americans. I know less than 10 Americans and haven't heard of any celebrations yet. Even if we did find fireworks and organize a party, the ceaseless monsoon would surely rain on our independence. This being said, I had to find some way to nurture the patriot within me. I tried listening to Tom Petty and Creedence but that was a momentary red, white and blue. I was thinking about how important eating well is on the 4th of July. Actually, to rebel against all the eating (to rebel against something), Stolly and I fasted for over 50 hours starting on the 4th of July, 2001. I decided the most American thing I could do was take the 20 minute, wet pilgrimage to Burger King. I'm chomping on fries and a greasy, fatty Whopper as I write. I'm over-eating and feeling my belly expand, feeling like an American. I think I'll puff up till I'm a gigantic, pudgy whopper monster and I'll roam the S Korean streets. I'll stick out my imperialist belly and watch the Koreans bounce out of my way. Yeah, that's what I'll do. Happy 4th of July everyone!