The Road to my Interview

(thoughts as I approach a life-defining moment)

It's a mild day in December as I sit next to a grandmother and together we stare out the window at sprawling landscapes. Sometimes I wish to freeze this scene, study it and see what lives I could create out of one image. Then again, like life, it passes suddenly and that's the way it should be. Wouldn't it be nice if we could watch our lives the same way; a continuous, speeding panorama or all our triumphs, follies, coincidences and consequences? Maybe I'm just reading too much Dostoevsky these days. He's got me thinking about legacies- damn I'm too young for that. But now, on this fateful ride to an interview which could determine my path for years to come, it's necessary to think so dramatically. I believe my youth will once again hold me back from obtaining this job. Sometimes I rely too heavily on my youth and use it as an excuse for my foolishness. I know, I'm not that young, but I'm still younger than almost everyone I associate with here. It allows me to follow and not have to make many responsible decisions. (god I hate those). Next year, I will try hard to move beyond the comfort of youth. I will announce my ignorance and learn how to use goals. I'll make plans to become fuller, more complete. I will no longer linger behind, drifting along someone else's trail. (As I write this, I'm attempting to follow the path of my former co-worker.)