Alisa Returns

I was looking forward to Swaton Sports Day for weeks. A chance to play with my kids on a Saturday- oh, so much fun. And then I knew the parents would be there and wouldn't be able to communicate but they'd see how much joy their children bring me. But, most of my anticipation derived from the return of Alisa. [You can read up on old stories to know how sad I was when I lost this girl to a more strict, cheaper Hagwan]. At 10am this Saturday, I nervously approached the park where I saw many families setting up picnics. Immediately, a kindergarten helper who knew how much I missed Alisa brought her up to me for our reunion. After teaching her five days a week for 6 months and then not seeing her for two months, Little Alisa, like me, was obviously too shy to handle this reunion. She stared up at me, her tiny face filled with freight, and ran away in the other direction. I wanted so much to pick her up and play like we used to but I thought it'd be better not to rush her. I stayed a comfortable distance away and watched as the mothers created reunions between Alisa and my other UCLA students. They would push the children as close as could be, till they were face-to-face, then the children would get scared and run away. It was so interesting watching these 5 yr olds see an old friend that they hadn't seen in a while. Maybe, somewhere hidden deep within, they feel the same longing and missing sentiments I do, but it didn't show. They'd run off and resume their normal, innocent aloofness. Alisa's mother approached me and I told her, in Korean, that I'd missed her daughter very much. She made my week when she said that Alisa misses me and really wanted to come to Swaton Sports Day and see me again. As the day progressed, we got over the initial anxieties and began playing like we used to. I'd poke her, and she'd spin around making her little birdie tweet sounds. I'd roar like a lion and chase her around. She was the most difficult child to teach because she spoke neither English or Korean- just squeaks. I wanted to see if this other Hagwan had succeeded where I failed and got her to speak English. I pulled out a piece of candy and Alisa said, "it is what?" and I said, "chocolate," to which she replied, "really?" I was impressed with this mini exchange, but that was the only English she spoke during the entire event. I felt vindicated as I spoke with my other UCLA students about racing, winning, mother and father, burning Batman Begins DVD for me, and Alisa remained silent. It got me thinking about how far my students and I had come. 8 months ago, we couldn't communicate a word to eachother and we would struggle through the most awkward hours. I began to think maybe I was lucky that Alisa was taken away. She was the unteachable- a girl toocute to mold into the system. And is closure really all it's cracked up to be? Perhaps I would have been better left with my memories, imagining what happened to this girl. I was buried under a heap of mixed emotions. Later, at a bar downtown, my friend and Swaton teacher Rosa told me that, seeing how much Alisa loved being around us again, her mother may re-enroll her at Swaton. I know how nice it was to see her little face and the nervousness I felt before the reunion tells me how special she was to me, but I still can't say whether I'd like her to return or not. Maybe I should just close this adorable chapter in my teaching life.